intentional grace.

there has been a theme of two words making its way into my life, around my thoughts, embedding itself deep into my soul...

{intentional}

{grace}

over and over again i am hearing the phrase "be intentional." which means overcoming emotion. rising above circumstance. let me be clear. i do not feel strong enough to do so... BUT. God has made me so. and so i will be.

and not only am i to be intentional about clinging to Jesus. obeying His commands. loving my enemies. loving my children. (which lets be honest, some days they both can be the same.) immersing myself in His truth. being joyful. the kind of joy that surpasses all understanding... not only am i supposed to be intentional, i am supposed to do it with

                                                                               GRACE

something my life does not exude in the slightest. nor my personality. nor my actions. but God calls me to this. i do not feel graceful... BUT. He has made me so. and so i will be.

im uncertain of the time frame of this endeavor. i fear it might take a long while. like, say, maybe eternity. especially when my kids start arguing in the backseat and all i can do is turn the radio up so loud to drown them out because i know if i dont i will have a complete and utter meltdown. or when i spend the fourth night in a row going to bed late, being awoken in the middle and then rising early only to have little hands and tiny mouths needing and taking some more of my non existent energy. when i want to eat that second doughnut or drink the third glass of wine. when time and time again, i tell myself i cant or im not good enough. when the stress becomes overpowering and the fire keeps refining...

2 Corinthians 12:9 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 


Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound


Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. 

Psalm 139:13-16

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.