a new season... a harder one.

it has been awhile since i have blogged. over a year, in fact. since the last post, we have moved from england to texas. texas to ohio. bought 5 acres and a house. corbin started school. rhys is 16 months old and a fiery, curly headed boy. and so much happens in a year.good... and bad. my best friend told me i should start journaling it all because when God shows Himself faithful, i will have a record of it. so here i am. journaling.

to get you caught up on everything that has happened (in a very short way):
i had a stroke.
our tractor and lawn mower broke down after buying the house & land.
the kids have been sick just about every 2 weeks this winter.
david had a tonsillectomy.
then david had to go back to the hospital to get his throat catheterized.
more money out of davids check is taken out for insurance purposes. 
this week rhys has an ear infection and a sinus infection.
last night i went in the laundry room to find a puddle underneath the washer and dryer.

its one thing after another these days. and most of the time i just sigh and move on. but last night....
last night i stood in that puddle and a thousand emotions washed over me. defeat. anger. sadness.
my first reaction is "really God??"
my second is "please. stop."

the truth is my life is pretty easy. we may live paycheck to paycheck but we have food. we have a house. we have running water. and not just running water, but WARM water. i have a lovely little family and for the most part, we are healthy. so sometimes... often, i have to remind myself how blessed i am in order to get through the struggle.

so one day i will read this. and it wont be IF God is faithful. it will, indeed, be WHEN He is faithful (which is every single day of this life i dont deserve). i will read this and i will thank Him for the pouring out of rain. and even though right now it feels as though i may drown, i know He wont let me. one day i will even thank Him for taking me through this. whatever this is...



"indeed God knows every detail of our lives, and when we step out in faith to follow him, he will show us that our greatest security is not found in the comforts we can manufacture in this world but in the faithful provision of the only one who know our needs and the only one who is able to meet our needs in every way."
david platt, radical, pg 174