from darkness into light

2014. wow. more than enough has happened and quite frankly, im ready for 2015.

the year began with a new men's ministry at our church, which my husband was very excited to join. and as i watched God change him into something i always prayed for well, there was something that changed within me too. i said "yes" to the Giver. yes to whatever He wanted for this family of mine. and then, i fell into a depression of sorts. coincidence? maybe. an attack? probably. so much change and i had to finally give up the reigns as "leader." something i had intensely prayed to happen for so long. something i didnt know would alter my sense of purpose. something that would have me asking the questions, "what is my role now?" and "where do i go from here?" the sadness and fear passed and we moved on into a new phase of this beautiful life together.

and then wham. my husbands contract was cancelled. its been almost 6 months now and im not sure how we have survived. well i do know. nothing short of a miracle. nothing short of Jesus. people gave. we had to be humble enough to receive. i picked up odd jobs. and we were able to pay the mortgage every month. i learned what the body of Christ is meant to look like. not the sharp toothed creatures who eat their own that the media portrays as "the church." no no. the Church of Acts. the breaking of bread and giving to those who need it the most.

we havent had a huge year in the terms of births or deaths. oh but our hearts were challenged. our souls were changed. and two things were asked of us: 1) trust 2) obey
so we did. and so many times we have died to ourselves. so many times we cried and were anxious and mourned the parts we would never get back. paying no mind to the fact that we are better without them.
and the new year brings birth. not silly resolutions that feed nothing to eternity. but newness. life. hope. and we are walking from what i can only assume is darkness into light.

we learned persistence. change. prayer. i learned a gut wrenching amount of humility. beauty in the shambles and ash.

our boys turned 3 and 7 in 2014.
corbin was baptized by his father. has a heart for the lost children of this world. loves chocolate even though it hurts his stomach. plays basketball and wrestles with his little brother.
rhys is officially potty trained. is overjoyed to attend BSF every wednesday. loves hot dogs and will finally drink milk. he will rule this life of his and fully believes his brother hung the moon.

my husband loves Jesus. i can finally say that with full confidence. he makes good decision for his family. talks about how he feels. he is strong. protecting. encouraging. and patient.

2014 sucked. and i wouldnt trade it for anything.